Well it is about time that I made a comeback here at the old Blogger. The outofworkcomedian was the outofthehouseduetofirecomedian or whatever that says. We had a small fire on the old Comedian ranch (style house w/ 3 bedrooms and 1 bath). I called the restoration people in and they kicked me out. Actually, these guys were great. The only problem that I have is that they took all of my clothes out to have them cleaned. The weather then changed cool and all of my cool weather clothing is at the cleaners. I never knew how big my nipples could get with out actually popping off of my chest, but now I know. I am pretty sure at one time or another you have wondered the same because you are sick just like I am. I know you are or you would be reading some fluffy crap about Hillary Clinton right now.
I went to myspace and saw this big Hillary banner and I can assure you of one thing. That I will not be my space until that is gone. I looked directly into her eyes, and if you do that you will see that she really has snakes for hair, and you can't look away. I am not sure what you have heard, but I have this theory that Hillary actually did run the Whitehouse for 8 years under the guise of William Jefferson Clinton. I think that if Americans elect her as President, and she leaves stains on interns dresses that you will have to say I heard it from the Comedian back in May of '07 and now I know its true.
You want even more predictions. How about President Mitt and the First Ladies, woo hoo, that will be awesome. I am not sure though that having more than one wife is a good idea. I mean really I am never right as it is, multiply that by 4 and I will be believing anything you tell me about having a wonderful afterlife.
How about President Rudy. I am not really sure, but wasn't that the name of one of the Cosby Kids from the Fat Albert Show? I really want a President that comes in plain paper packaging. I want someone who can actually tell the truth. I want someone who stands for something or anything would actually be a good start. I want someone who wants to do something positive in America. I want this to be an English speaking country again. Global Opinion gets us killed. The global economy can kiss it too. If you want America to be attractive to the rest of the world then let's go back to what made us attractive. A set of standards and practices that worked. I realize that everything changes quickly, but if we offer the rest of the world an unchanging basis for a real life then who would really not want a system that worked like ours. Honestly we could package it and sell it on 5 dvd's or mp3 download for $335 billion or this month only sign up for flexpay and enjoy the benefits today.
This is the person that I am really looking for though. I am looking for a candidate that will propose a real solution to the border problem that we have. I am looking for the one with enough metal to propose a rock climbing wall be put in place along the border. I mean one of them twenty foot deals. We could grease the Mexican side of it daily, and just imagine the hilarious video we would have. We could also charge Americans to climb on the American side of the wall that way we could pay for it. I swear to you that if this is not the greatest idea in border security then we are screwed as a nation.
Wow, I really got preachy there for a minute. Enough with that. I was going to tell you about a little fire I had at the house, and now I have just lost utter control of myself. I hope you have a great Sunday, and start the work week out by greeting your boss with a friendly "Hello from my heart".
1 comment:
Guess what? I read your post, and I feel obligated to tell you that I am having trouble deciding whether to vote for the Black Illinoisian with a funny name, or Mrs. Bill. Yo wish yo could tambien tell tu this en Espanol - alas, mi Espanol es no que it used to be. So, being a card-carrying Wood River Republican, whose party doesn't even know that you exist - how is THAT for some Hump Day morning comedy?
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